Life is not fair... Life is not unfair; Life just is.

A lot of people think Life isn’t fair – and there are those who will go about their lives claiming that they know why that’s true. But maybe they’re wrong. Life isn’t unfair either.

Life just is. With all its ups and down, with what some consider beauty and what others consider ugliness, Life just continues. For some reason though there are opinionated people who attempt to explain away what is wrong with the world.

On the political spectrum, there are those who complain about too much money given to the poor and there are those who complain about too much money given to corporations.

Socially, there are those who complain about declining ethics and morality and there are those who complain about generational changes in the home, in marriage, and about the support given to whatever they don’t believe in.

There are people who blame the older generation, the lack of media, the law-abiding, the passivists, the lack of diversity, political incorrectness… and then there are those who blame the younger generation, the media, the law-breakers, the activists, the presence of diversity, political correctness. They blame bigots (that is, those who are intolerant of people with differing opinions). People blame [insert any adjective] people.

And then they blame things too, the non-people, the Internet, the “Establishment” and the faceless corporations (instead of the people that run them). They blame the generalized labels, the stereotypes… the list could keep going.

So is there something really wrong with Life? For me, not really. I am not questioning the existence of problems but rather the dogmatic paradigm that Life can be “fixed” at all.

The idea that things are messed up prevails and that if just a few things were to change, Life would be great. People may think “Education is the answer!” or they take another simplified phrase to show others what’s wrong, hoping that those they show realize that the masses have power – that they can fix it.

This way of looking at Life probably comes from an idealized projection. Maybe it’s unconscious. But the perfectly imperfect world will never attain that one individual vision of perfection. Reality and someone’s version of what is ideal are incompatible.

Is there anything wrong with that? Not really. It makes for an interesting discussion though – and I’d say that it is one that Leo Babauta has already started. In fact, what you’re reading is just my own version of what he had to say.

There will always be a gap between the world that people want and the world as it is… and Leo Babauta asserts that this can be a cause of unhappiness. He writes:

“If you want the world to go back to how it was during your childhood, or during your parents’ generation, and it isn’t likely to do so, you’re not gonna be happy.”

Unattainable ideals of what a spouse should be, an ideal son or daughter should be, or even how we should be are simply that, unattainable.

Our friends, parents, co-workers, and housemates will most likely not live up to our ideals all the time. People are imperfect. And that reality can cause unhappiness.

What does this mean? It would probably help for each of us to simply expect the unexpected. But I have to emphasize Leo’s suggestion – stop looking for perfection!

Acceptance is key. Life is what it is: not fair; not unfair. Loving it becomes easy when you can accept it for what it has to offer – the beautiful, the everyday, and the ugly.

Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up on what’s important to each one of us. Our opinions can act as the foundation for good deeds. Those same opinions just don’t need to oversimplify things. One may still strive to appreciate and come to a better understanding of Life though.

Of course, there are struggles and pain. Does acceptance mean we accept those too?

“It’s hard to accept that people are dying of diseases and famine and war and murder and abuse, and perhaps impossible to love that aspect of the world. You don’t have to love it, but it helps to try to really understand it. Why does this happen? What are the deeper reasons?”

Is it perfect imperfection or imperfect perfection? Which one is it when there are those who are violent? And then people want to start blaming someone or something again. They’ll even describe such violent people as evil. But what’s the bigger picture? Maybe they’re doing what was done to them somehow, someway, in their lives?

Maybe by attempting to understand the reason behind the violence, one can be compassionate enough to heal oneself and others.

It takes effort but it’s probably worth it for anyone. No one should be claiming perfection beyond our natural imperfection. I’m not; I make mistakes. I’ve gotten upset. I’ve thought highly of simplified answers I’ve come up with too when maybe I should’ve just reflected on the bigger picture. But Life just is.